park laments

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Us diggers, builders, groomers, and park staff have a small, playful bone to pick with all you public :p

As most of you have undoubtedly noticed the massive whales of man-made heaven have gained shape and begun to transform into pads, hips, jumps, and some of those mounds have even grown some rails and fencing in parks world wide. Throughout the season, as it snows (as many budgets have reached their max at smaller resorts), bigger, badder features causing risk managers nightmares may begin to appear...if you're lucky.

So stop bitchin, you want a real park, go to somewhere else, maybe Mammoth or Timberline. They have a big budget, rad cats, and riders who will put your dumb-sh*t-talkin butt to shame. Go get humbled, then come back to your homestead.

You know what sucks!? You know what you should actually give a rat's arse about!? Not the "lame" 30' kickers but that WAR OF THE RAILS was cancelled, parks across the US and Canada (elsewhere I am sure too!) are being subjected to intense scrutiny, and jumps are being removed from parks because of insurance hits. You know why!? Because of all you sue-happy, pansy, cheap ash hosers! This petty nonsense creates insurance liabilities and high costs for all of the rad people who actually get what the fook riding a terrain park is about! Get your freakin’ newbie kids out of the parks! There are beginner parks abound, designed with them in mind! First day skiing? Stay out of the park, learn to turn, stop, hop, and fall first! See that ropeline? STOP DUCKING IT! Oh, you didn't see that closed sign? I am sure there is an optometrist near you, and Smith makes Rx lenses!

What’s next to leave us!? SuperPark!? Get your sh*t together and grow a goshdarn vagina (those things take a beating, wild west style, screw balls).

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